Case of the Pregnant Lady
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She nothiced the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well, your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I could not help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, 'The Doublemint twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved under a sign that said, 'Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick' and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident... I just lost it'
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note, romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sisters, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.
'I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.'
'I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how may times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love.'
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.